As the Set Turns Series Index

Disclaimer: Joss owns them, not me. I just like playing.

Comments: Inspired by nothing really. Got bored. Wrote this.

Trailer Tales

Eliza: Whatcha doin?

Sarah: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm learning my lines - which you should be doing as well.

Eliza: What's to learn? It's always the same, a few slutty glances at you, a couple of 'wicked hungry', 'wicked horny' and some 'five by five's'.

Sarah: Well I'm so sorry it's not challenging you Miss Shakespeare.

Eliza: Oh and like Buffy's so deep?! Pur-lease! 'Hi my names Buffy and I help old ladies across the road and rescue fluffy kittens from trees, please be my friend and love me for ever.' Total vom.

Sarah: Green ain't your colour Dushku.

Eliza: I reiterate... Pur-lease! At least Faith doesn't look like she shops at Laura Ashley.

Sarah: No, she looks like a total slut!

Eliza: Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Sarah: No, yours.

Eliza: *Flips her middle finger at Sarah* Did you audition for Cordelia? Think you would've done that part justice.

Sarah: Did you audition for Willow? The way things are going you would've done THAT part justice.

Eliza: What's that meant to mean?

Sarah: On come on! Faith is so crushing on Buffy! Hearts drawn on windows? Slutty dancing together? Faith is like a drool monster when ever the Buffster's about.

Eliza: You're telling me that Buffy doesn't like all the attention? She practically salivates a sea everytime Faith grinds those leathers near her! I bet the girl has to carry spare panties around in her 'Slayer Stake Pocket'.

Sarah: Buffy appreciates Faith's attentions in a purely platonic way.

Eliza: *snorts*

Sarah: No, you're right, Buff has got the hots for Faithy. Think it's the breasts.

Eliza: *looks down at her chest* Yeah they are kinda cool.

Sarah: Major distraction more like!

Eliza: You been checking my rack out Geller?

Sarah: Can hardly get away from it, especially since wardrobe only give you skimpy tight tops to wear.

Eliza: What about those trousers they keep squeezing me and you into? What IS that about? How Faith and B are meant to save the world when I can barely walk without third degree chaffing and your butt is threatening to bust out of the back of your pants is beyond me.

Sarah: I feel like the whole crew knows me intimately. I can't even eat a crispbread without feeling like I'm gonna rip out the seems.

Eliza: So what's gonna happen this week? We gonna get it on, 'girlfriend'?

Sarah: Canon!? Hello?!

Eliza: Sorry Gabrielle.

Sarah: I'm not Gabrielle! I'm Xena.

Eliza: Yeah right! No, I'm Xena. Troubled warrior? Pained? Hurting? That's Faith! Bottle blonde who's really just there as show padding? That's you... Gabby.

Sarah: I'm not a bottle blonde! This is natural, you bitch.

Eliza: Prove it.

Sarah: What?

Eliza: You heard, P-R-O-V-E it.

Sarah: *Pauses for a second* Fine, I'm Gabrielle.

Eliza: Chicken! When's Freddie coming to pick you up?

Sarah: Who?

Eliza: Freddie? Your soon to be husband?

Sarah: Huh? Oh him! He's out with Ricky Martin tonight, going to see the sound of music or something like that.

Eliza: So, you're free then.

Sarah: *raises eyebrow* Depends what for.

Eliza: Well, going over some lines, or whatever else we feel like going over, or under. *slides over to Sarah*

Sarah: *Grins sexily and licks her lips* I guess we should practice that dancing we have to do in the Bronze.

Eliza: Dancing... right. *looks deep into Sarah's eyes*

Sarah: Dancing...

*Alyson bursts in and Sarah and Eliza move apart quickly*

Alyson: Hey Sarah? You're needed on set!

Eliza: I'll swing by to yours at 7 then.

*Sarah turns round before she is fully out the door*

Sarah: Don't forget your toothbrush.